spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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