I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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