Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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