Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
