You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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