return my video game
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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