Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
