White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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