I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
