Sry I called you an 8
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
