HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
