Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
