He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
