i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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