first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
