She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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