And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
