well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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