Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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