I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
