Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This house was built for laser tag.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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