It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
