I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize