I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
