I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
