So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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