New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
