I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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