They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
