I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
