i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
