So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
