I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize