i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
