the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
