You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
