Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
