In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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