I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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