what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
