How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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