is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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