please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
