nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
