Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
