They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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