happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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