I'm lost and stupid without you.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
