im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
