Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
