If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
