I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
