Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
