I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
