Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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