I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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