the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
