i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
