He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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