Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
