I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
