Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
