Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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