and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
