my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
