this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Found your dick twin last night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
